Amrita Joy Ananda Ma (aka Elena Diana)

it is 1am here in Cairo on Monday April 23rd. in California it is 4pm on Sunday the 22nd; i awoke about a half hour ago with Bruce and his memorial in my awareness. i reviewed the guide through after death and reminded him of all that is in it.

i has occurred to me that, as a professional psychic-channel, communion and communication with those who have passed over is a common-place experience for me, and i often forget that this is not so for most people. when i got the news of Bruce's death, i became acutely aware of him and his presence, and i remembered the last time i saw him. i remember having the thought that this may be the last time i will see him. since his death, mostly what i get when i am open to receiving what he has to communicate is that laughter of his.

i remember in particular one EI where he spent a lot of time in his van. his laughter (i think of it as a kind of spiritual chuckle; it seemed to me that he was likely laughing at the Great Cosmic Joke) emanated from the van seemingly non-stop. it was clearly what was coming up out of his contemplation, and i received it as such.

i am aware of being here, undergoing initiations that are transforming my consciousness, and i am aware of being there, with those who have gathered to honor Bruce. i am aware of my love for him, and of his for me. i am aware of his intention for Liberation, and support him in attaining that which comes at the end of desire.

in talking with some others i know who knew Bruce, it came as no surprise to me to note that forgiveness of things he did in his life does not come easily for some of us who knew him. i looked within to see if i had forgiven him for things that arose out of our intimate relationship, and i have. i remember my last dyad with Bruce and how open and clear the contact between us was; no leftover stuff from the past. it is my sense that forgiving Bruce is an act of support for his liberation. i know that forgiveness is really for the forgiver. my thought is that, just as we can get enlightened for someone else, so we can forgive for another. and i sense him asking for that forgiveness so he can release the past.

i am now aware of being with the gathering in spirit; i go now to sleep, anticipating the 5am wake-up call we are to receive in order to visit a sacred part of the pyramids (the details are to be a surprise for us) and exprience a potent transmission of the Sacred Mysteries. somehow what i am doing here has also to do with Bruce and my honoring of him and his path.

i know that Carl Wilson is attending the gathering, and has put forth the invitation for the EI community to join us in our land project in Hawaii. he has explained the connection with Bruce; the irony of the timing of Bruce's death is not lost on me. we intend to memorialize him in some way on that property as we develop it.

blessings and love,
Amrita Joy Ananda Ma
aka Elena Diana

Donna Gerry

Bruce helped me get to peace with the apparent disparity between our deepest truth and what's going on here. At my first EI in Oakland in 1969(?), I experienced myself as "qualityless being." The day after the intensive, I was in awe as I experienced a friend of mine appearing from nothingness, instant-by-instant, into being that body/mind/personality. I wanted to commune ecstatically with others (to have communion at Source level central to life here for everyone) and I couldn't fathom why we humans do so much petty and viscious things to one another. When yogis and other reputedly wise beings came to town, I would listen and, if permitted, ask why this was true. My dissatisfaction with this dilemma continued for years.

I never received an answer that satisfied me until I talked with Bruce about it. He listened, then he asked me, "If you can be there, why don't you just be there?" I realized that, although I could briefly hold that space of deep communion with another, the main way I am able to be with others is in the normal mode of being human. I realized that a lot of dissatisfactory nonsense is going on amongst people because this is how we are able to be here with each other. I stopped nostalgically wishing for another reality and accepted this world - embraced being a spiritual being manifesting through nature and human society. I am grateful for Bruce's incisive, helpful comment.

I am happy to have known one so dedicated to Love. This showed in the way he worked with his own inner reality and in his responses to me and others.

Thanks and blessings to Bruce, and I have enjoyed reading others' postings.

Shawn Estes

I just learned of Bruce's passing recently at Bill Savoie’s EI. I only knew Bruce as a 70 year old mystic, having first met him at the '05 annual intensive (led by Mark Ederer?). I think Bill gave me a good first impression of him, but it was quite different than my first visual impression. His clothes were ragged, but I knew the power and love that radiated from him instantly. In my first dyad with him, all I can say is, he gave me an experience that was truly remarkable. Always looking with the loving eyes that could see so far, with so much depth. I heard a loud rumbling from a distance as I became aware of planets that were in my view, earth I think, and some others. But, we didn’t stay there long, as the planets seemed to speed by one after the other, merging beautiful, light emanating stars into deep black space. I don’t know how long we journeyed like that, until I realized the loud rumbling had suddenly stopped, and I could have sworn it was right as Bruce snapped his fingers, I became aware of physical reality again, those absolute loving and deep beyond deep eyes. He just smiled a whimsical and knowing smile and commented on the divine.

That was the experience, simple but amazing. I have always felt he intentionally gave me that experience. I know he will be with me for a long time.

Erik Grabow

God, but Bruce was big! Big body, big presence, big lust, big laugh. (Too big, I thought, filled with all my spiritually incorrect judgments when I first encountered Bruce in the Annual Intensives.) I tended to stay away from him at first, intimidated by his wildness . . . and besides, he violated the form in dyads!

Years later, Bruce and I were both attending a July Intensive at Origin, and Osha had volunteered me to give Bruce a ride up. I felt a dread, imagining being trapped in a car with this wildman for four or five hours. I picked him up at the dilapidated El Cerrito garage he was living in, barely a notch above a homeless camp. He seemed a bit embarrassed to have me see the squalor of his material life, then waved at the piles of papers and clothes and trash strewn about: "I'm an urban yogi--welcome to my cave!"

I got to know Bruce as we drove up to the mountains, the miles and conversation just flying. There was a sensitivity and gentleness to Bruce I hadn't noticed before--so much for my judgments. On the drive back I was frustrated, consumed by the desire for enlightenment and feeling like the Intensive had taken me right up to the very edge of something I felt unable to leap from. I then had the great good fortune of being on the receiving end of Bruce in his full-on developed Enlightenment Master mode, as he spent several hours working with me on "Who Am I?" as I drove. (Yes, I know we should never contemplate and drive, and Bruce and I were violating the form and breaking the rules . . . and at the same time, I felt a complete trust and safety in our process--we were quite mindfully following another set of rules.) I still hear his patient, firm voice repeating "Tell me who you are" as the question drew me into itself and the pavement began to shimmer and the passing trees sparkle with beauty. He began to describe to me subtleties of my unvoiced ongoing inner process, so utterly tuned into me that he could read my mind: "You're like a stone that is skipping along on the surface of enlightenment--you start to dip in, then you skip away. But it's okay, you can do whatever you want--after all, it's your enlightenment!" Later, he remarked that two of his favorite activities in life were making women come, and getting people enlightened . . . I never told Bruce, but after our time that July, I considered hiring him as an Enlightenment coach, which seemed like it could be a mutual win. But I still felt wary of his craziness, and remembering the old saying "Don't make friends with an elephant tamer unless you have a very large living room", I chickened out. The bonding of our time together was permanent, however, and I continue to feel the welcome love he offered as I write this now.

The spiritual traditions are filled with the stories of the wild ones, the ones who put Spirit first, and just let the rest of the house burn down. I feel fortunate to have know such a divine one, and continue to feel great gratitude for the ongoing lessons his big being offered. With love and blessings, I thank you Bruce. Namaste!

This February I was a monitor at the Love Intensive at Isis Oasis. The last time I had seen Bruce was at the 2006 Annual Intensive. Now I was very aware of his absence as I walked between the rows of dyads, the room permanently empty of his big booming laugh and the words: "I'm me . . . I'm divine me . . ." One night dinner was postponed due to one of the Isis animals having slipped past its keepers, and for our safety we had to stay away from the dining hall for a bit. The next day I overheard someone speaking the following words, and I thought "That sounds like a poem" . . . a minute later, and words grabbed me by the heart as I realized "and it's a poem about Bruce!":


For Bruce:

"I have the feeling
that sometime in the night
something wild and beautiful
escaped its cages."

Gone, gone.

Gone beyond.

Gone beyond Beyond!

All blessings

to the one

who goes:

Awakening, fullfilled!